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Condong Power Station Reaches Full Capacity; Powers at Least Half Own Bulbs.

Dec 13th, 2009
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The Tweed - On the Government help conveyor belt.

The Tweed - On the Government help conveyor belt.

Hot on the heels of the success of the Condong Co-generation Electricity Plant, Tweed farmers  and other inventors are falling over themselves with funding proposals for a range of equally ambitious projects.

“The Government is full of very, very wise people – very wise people indeed”, says one Tweed agricultural boffin, “and anyone with even half a brain could see the potential of this Milking/Hay Cutting/Seperating machine, the plans of which have expeditiously just come my way.”

All this excitement has  arisen as a result of the Governments new “Funding for Brilliance” stimulus initiative. A recent conference at a well-known local watering-hole brought out the Tweed’s best and brightest for a crack at the big bickies.

One other Tweed inventor that Tweed register spoke with over a cold one is sure that he’s onto a winner. His dramatic proposal is for a marina at the site of the boat ramp on Commercial Road with a water ski slalom course, “…and this is the genius of it – instead of the boat wakes being a negative – erosion and all that rubbish, they become a positive….. wave power!”, he expostulated. “We collect all of the ski boat wake waves in to wave power generators, and supply electricity to the whole town.. well those bits that the Condong plant isn’t already supplying power to that is. We wouldn’t want any power surges.”

While a thorough estimate of the cost hasn’t yet been made, most of the blokes at the table reckon it’ll only be a ‘few mil’, and amounts to a total bargain.

With such brilliance and eco-credentials, its no wonder that the Tweed remains an attractive contender for Government alternative power investment funding.

Posted in: Environment, What Environment?.

Person Seen Entering Murwillumbah Museum

Jul 8th, 2009
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Hopeful Visitor to Town Prepares to Climb the Steps to the Museum

Mr Von Sixmonthsinaleakyboat psychs-up for his daring ascent to the Museum

One bystander was treated for mild shock and several others were given tea and biscuits by First Aid Certificate III holders after witnessing someone climbing the stairs and entering the Murwillumbah Museum yesterday morning.
A rescue party was gathered, but the man re-emerged about an hour later, short of breath but unharmed.
Arnold Van Sixmonthsinaleakyboat, a mountaineering backpacker from Switzerland, was that visitor. Your Tweed Register reporter found him somewhat short of breath but happy after his descent.

TR: “Mr Sixmonthsinaleakyboat…:

AS: “Please, call me Arnold”

TR: “Arnold, can you tell us why you visited the Museum today – do you usually climb without oxygen?”

AS: “Vell my aunty told me about zis great challenge here in Mur… murwool….mullimberwah, yes, aha, here in zis lovely place, und after hearing about it, I vaas theenking, vaat kind off super-humans are zeez venerable Murvillumbah Muzeeum gentlemans and ladies zat zey verk so vey, vey oop in der sky?”, he said, “Zen somvun told me zat zey paark at the back. Anyvey, ze exhibits are most entertaining. Sorry about ze emergency. ”

Murwillumbah Museum
 2 Queensland Rd, Murwillumbah, NSW
Open 10AM-4PM Wednesdays, Fridays & 4th Sunday of the Month
(excluding Public Holidays).

Admission charges: Adults $2; Children under six no charge if accompanied by an adult; Primary school children $1; Secondary school students $1.50. School research project – no charge.

Posted in: History.

Murwillumbah’s Battle for the Streets Heats Up

Jun 27th, 2009
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roads-workby Staff reporter, Murwillumbah.

Hoping to attract scarce off-road/thrillseeker/Yee-Haa!/tourist dollars to Murwillumbah in the lead-up to the upcoming Repco Rally, the Council is seeking to create off-road-rally street conditions around the CBD. And by the looks of it their ‘Rally Roads’ program is a great success.

From Quarry Road to the Alma Street roundabout,  the Tweed Valley Way (as in Wayhey!) has been “4WD-access-only” since about May, and under cover of the recent downpours it seems that more work has been done down the entire length of Wollumbin Street. Wharf Street is currently in conversion, and will soon be the gnarliest off-road track in New South Wales with the inclusion of a 4WD skateboard bowl.

“Whenever it rains, we realise that nature cannot be stopped – therefore we must have ‘Rally Roads’ in town because that’s the only way to respect nature”, said one ‘Rally Roads’ official who preferred to remain anonymous.

Certain rogue elements of the Council have been working hard. To try to thwart the ‘Rally Roads’ plans, they’ve neen using ‘emulsion’ in an effort to make road surfaces level. This novel approach, in direct violation of Council policy, seems to be backfiring however, as repairs are causing more traffic jams than the original problem. Funnily enough, rumour has it that these workers represent the ‘Speed on Tweed’ faction of Council.

Your reporter, while out on a stroll recently, met one of these revolutionary road levelers as he was sizing up a typical hole in the road, “Mfftff brffft mrrffft”, he yelled, “Throw me a rope!”

But despite lightning-fast reaction times and tons and tons of tar, they are put on the back foot whenever it rains, and must race out early the next morning to return the roads to non-4WD condition,  fighting an endless battle for the hearts and minds of Murwillumbah’s increasingly gridlocked commuters.

Who will win Murwillumbah’s battle of the streets?!

Stay Tuned! Vrooom-Vrooom!

Posted in: Roads.