by Staff reporter, Murwillumbah.
Hoping to attract scarce off-road/thrillseeker/Yee-Haa!/tourist dollars to Murwillumbah in the lead-up to the upcoming Repco Rally, the Council is seeking to create off-road-rally street conditions around the CBD. And by the looks of it their ‘Rally Roads’ program is a great success.
From Quarry Road to the Alma Street roundabout, the Tweed Valley Way (as in Wayhey!) has been “4WD-access-only” since about May, and under cover of the recent downpours it seems that more work has been done down the entire length of Wollumbin Street. Wharf Street is currently in conversion, and will soon be the gnarliest off-road track in New South Wales with the inclusion of a 4WD skateboard bowl.
“Whenever it rains, we realise that nature cannot be stopped – therefore we must have ‘Rally Roads’ in town because that’s the only way to respect nature”, said one ‘Rally Roads’ official who preferred to remain anonymous.
Certain rogue elements of the Council have been working hard. To try to thwart the ‘Rally Roads’ plans, they’ve neen using ‘emulsion’ in an effort to make road surfaces level. This novel approach, in direct violation of Council policy, seems to be backfiring however, as repairs are causing more traffic jams than the original problem. Funnily enough, rumour has it that these workers represent the ‘Speed on Tweed’ faction of Council.
Your reporter, while out on a stroll recently, met one of these revolutionary road levelers as he was sizing up a typical hole in the road, “Mfftff brffft mrrffft”, he yelled, “Throw me a rope!”
But despite lightning-fast reaction times and tons and tons of tar, they are put on the back foot whenever it rains, and must race out early the next morning to return the roads to non-4WD condition, fighting an endless battle for the hearts and minds of Murwillumbah’s increasingly gridlocked commuters.
Who will win Murwillumbah’s battle of the streets?!
Stay Tuned! Vrooom-Vrooom!